Also when going through his email (I know not good possible psycho) I found emails where she sent him a pictures of her new shoes and explain "my toenails match". She got her hair done and sent him a picture in which she was not smiling he wrote back "nice hair but your smile is so stunning you should show it more blah some blah". It seems a little beyond friends. Also, why would you not send your new BFA a Christmas card of your family? Its seems like you should friends christmas cards.
I know I have not been the most honest person but only for small things. I can not believe he would lie to me about his BFA reunion. I know it was only him and the two females. It just seems if there wasn't a reason to lie then why would he lie. I really feel like he doesn't respect me anymore because if he respected me then he would not lie to me. So what do I do with a husband that doesn't respect me and one that I really don't trust?
I guess we work well together and we go through the motion but is that enough? Is there more than this marriage? Am I just over reacting or is there more than this? I love him so much but I don't think he loves me the same way anymore. I don't want to be alone, actually I want to be with him and be happy like things before he left. But I don't things will ever go back to that. I don't feel like I can talk to him about this either. I am just sad about everything. I wish he would tell me what really happened in Afghanistan so that I can stop speculating because really my imagination is going wild and it won't stop till he really talks to me about it.
PS - Our sex life is super lame. I don't know if it related but it really is so lame.