Monday, September 20, 2010
I can't sleep. This sucks. My husband is home and I should be so happy I am not. I am more sad or mad than happy these days. It is like he is a different person than when he left. I am pregnant and due at any moment and the only thing I wanted when he came home was for him to make me feel special for carrying his child and taking care of his little girl while he was away. But it seems like the only thing he wants to do it work, drink, or do his own thing. I feel like I am hasseling him to do anything family oriented. So I just want to stop. I just want to stop. I just want to stop. It doesn't seem to matter to him what I do so why bother. I will just do what I do while he is gone and then he can do his own thing. Then we will eventually realize that we shouldn't be together and get a divorce. He can then visit his kids on the weekend and focus on his career. I will then go back to work and be a mom. I will probably go back to work in September so that I build my own savings and do my own thing. I am tired of fighting like children. I just want to be happy again and I am not.