Sucks.

I expected an answer of confidence not back ups. I thought you would say you know the guys who hired you and they would not set you up for failure.

Honestly I'm done fighting. You want to deploy. Do it. Make the money. 

Money. Money. Money. Money. Money. 

First Straw

It seems that we have come to a crossroads. I think we stopped understanding each other. We stopped listening to each other. Maybe we just can not live together for longer than a few months.  It seems we can not agree on how we use to just click.

I am not sure why.

I do understand why you are upset about what you saw. But you should know that dancing to me is just like running. Something to do that is fun that also get my steps in. Unless I am with you. Whenever you and I danced together it was always the best. More than just exercise. Not really sure why you would think anything more. Why would you think you aren't my world? Have I done something for you to mistrust me?

If anything, I feel bad for myself because now whenever I say I went dancing, you will have a negative connotation.

I am so tired of so much. I am tired of wondering if I say the wrong thing or react the wrong way if I may offend you. It is really shitty. Reminds me of when I was with Paul. Worried about my next move and feeling restricted. When I was myself feeling guilty about it. That is not my favorite. It feels like abuse.

I feel like you only know 1/2 of me.
After the way you treated my family
My mind has changed.
Not sure why you think you can treat
Others the way you do.
Thought my happiness was your priority.
Hit me like a rock when I knew that was not
A reality.
Pleasure is something a hooker does.
Positioning another in front of yourself is love.
You are breaking my heart.

Working is Hard

My last several months of work have been hard. However, coming home and cuddling with this little one makes everything right in the world.

Laughing

I read somewhere a couple days ago (I know it seems very valid and supported by facts) that laughing daily, even fake laughing provide a longer life. I am not sure of the study or even remember where I read the information but it seems legit to me. =)

So recently, I would say the past month or so, I decided for myself to laugh out loud whenever something is funny to me. The way I figure it, no one get mad at a person who is laughing so, I will laugh and other people will be happy.

Since I began doing this, I have found it quite refreshing to not hold my laughing back and really enjoy laughing out loud. It has been liberating. So I encourage you, next time you want to laugh but hold it back because someone might hear, just let it loose! Laugh and enjoy it!

Strawberry-Blueberry-Muffins

Here is my recipe:

2 cups of whole wheat organic flour

1 1/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

  pinch of grinned sea salt

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1/4 tsp almond extract

1 cup of sugar

  1 cup applesauce

2 eggs beaten

1 cup of fresh strawberries

1 cup of fresh blueberries

I am not sure of the results of this recipe yet, the batter looked a little thick. If they are good, I will post a picture, if not I will have tweak the recipe.

Let me know if you have similar recipes that I could try.

 

Magic

When I was a little girl, I always believed in magic. I always knew deep in my heart that I would one day do something incredible and then my magic would be released. Then I became a mom and I knew that was my magic. Raising you two little friends, is the most important thing I have done and will do in my life. You are my magic power.

I love how you view everything with a magical perspective. I promise I will do everything I can as a mommy to keep things magical for you. I will always let you put love into our baking which makes it turn colors. You are my princess army soldier ballerina. I love you always.

West Baltimore Mom Swap

This is a group designed for Mom's to share. We all know how quickly kids outgrow just about everything. Craigslist can be a great option, but there is always the UNKNOWN of whether it's safe or not,with using Facebook, you have to be friends with someone in the group to become a member!

Mommy in this group sell clothes, household items, toys, etc. We give each other advice and support. If you are interested in becoming a member, just click on the link below:


https://www.facebook.com/groups/WestBaltimoreMomSwap/

And request to join! Hope to see you there, Happy Swapping!